i'm back on my grind

tonight i want to relax. i want to sit at the clay pot with a couple of bottles of wine, some close friends, and exert the minimal amount of energy needed to eat, laugh, speak, and hear great stories. then i want to go home, lay in bed, and find myself grateful for the life i have. not stressed. not overwhelmed. not too busy. not too tired. not with too much to do tomorrow. not spent. only grateful.

the reality of my course work demands that i spend every free minute with my nose in a book. my interests pull me away to work in other issues that i'm passionate about. everyone is just as busy. but if i spend my time thinking about it all, wondering all the time how/when it will get done, i'll go mad.

so, for my sister adriana who loves kanye west and is one of the few (only?) who read my blog, i'll close out with the chorus from his song "this way." i think you'll easily see why it summarizes my thoughts:

this time i made up my mind
this time i'm back on my grind
i know there's things in my life
that i'ma let go startin tonight
(i can't live my, i, i can't live my)
(i can't live my, i, i can't live my)
i can't live my, i, i can't live my
i can't live my this way (can't live my, i, i can't live my)
this way (i can't live my, i, i can't live my)
this way, i can't live my, i, i can't live my
i can't live my life this way