i'm older than i've ever been and now i'm even older

i remember loving to be outside in the rain when i was younger. once mom bought us all umbrellas that were clear with a pink stripe along the edge and a picture of a popular cartoon dog. i can't remember the name of the dog. we would take our umbrellas outside and enjoy sitting in the rain. when i was in high school and it rained, it was a bit of a drag. our school had the crappiest drainage system and small ponds would form everywhere. still, i liked it. in college rain didn't keep us away from football games. once my friends and i had traveled to see a game and were not expecting the rain, so we went to a store and bought trash bags to wear. we stayed the whole time at the game, and it rained practically the whole time.

so. why is it that now, as a 28 yr. old, i dread having to go out in the rain? when was the switch turned? last saturday one of my friends had free tickets to the baylor game. a little bit before i left the house to meet up with everyone, it started raining. i really didn't want to go. i don't know why. i just could not get myself excited about standing in the rain or getting wet. walking through the wet grass and mud annoyed me. i think i even made some comment about how my body wasn't made to live through those kind of conditions. i don't know if the word for what i've become is prissy, or just...old.

the following monday i went to a benefit show for the katrina victims at the hippodrome. one of the bands that played was pretty loud and very rockin'. the older people in the audience immediately, as if by instinct, put their fingers to their ears and only took them off between songs. it made me wonder - did they ever like loud music? did they go to concerts when they were younger and hate it now that they're older? will i do that when i'm their age? so, i asked one of them. a professor from school was there with his wife, and they, following suit, kept their fingers to their ears the whole time. i asked them the questions i had been wondering and they told me that they never like loud music. not only that, they weren't used to hearing loud music, so it was a shock and discomfort. the professor told me that as he's aged background noises become louder, so he had become more sensitive to the feedback and background noise of music. neither one of them appreciated the fact that they could not hear one another over the noise.

it was good information. it was what i wanted to hear. so maybe, i asked, when i'm older i'll still like loud music because i like it now? the answer was supplied by my roommate jen - sure. you'll like it. it won't be loud to you. you won't be able to hear. we'll be deaf from all the loud concerts we've been to.

nice. must remember to take earplugs to acl next weekend. the fact that i care about losing my hearing at the concerts - does that make me responsible, or just...old?