i write a lot in my journal

i've never copied an entry from my written journal to this blog, but i've decided that i wanted to share what i wrote after my first night at reba place. so, if the language is annoyingly emotive, i apologize. but i think you will understand - that's what journals are for...

7/19 at Reba Place. it is completely lovely. not because it is perfect, but because in the midst of the imperfections that come with being human the people here have made a commitment to love and to be loved, and because i, in my imperfections, am learning more about how to use my natural giftings to interact with people i don't know well.

there's a trust here at reba place. i don't want to say that it's an easy trust, but i find it quite natural to share my story with these people and to confess my true feelings. i don't think that makes it easy, though. the trust that one finds here comes from years of living with other believers and from years of following Christ - of learning what it means to love; of practicing discernment; of enacting hospitality. here, behind the ease of trusting there are years of struggle, of being wounded and restored. to call it easy would not do it justice.

an air of age and timelessness surrounds the buildings of reba place. i find myself comforted not only by the love and hospitality i am shown, but by the wisdom of generations past and knowing that so many have passed through this place voicing the same concerns as i have, embracing the same hopes as i do: that the church could be more than she is; that the community of saints could rise up to be those whose lives reflect something different from this world; that love of God and neighbor could be the first passion in the lives of believers; that reconciliation and resurrection could be the desire of every encountered relationship; that imagination would be fostered by our experiences in the church; and that we could learn to look past the way things appear to be in order to discover the reality of how life is lived in the kingdom. where we are content and satisfied intstead of always wanting to buy more. where we appreciate our bodies when we are healthy instead of degrading it based on others' standards; where we see the beauty and sacredness of God's creation instead of believeing it is is for us to dominate, abuse, neglect, and exploit. these are my passions, and i am seeking for a safe place to nurture and explore them.
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stayed with grete, aaron, and barbara for most of today. there was to be a potluck dinner @6:30, so barb and i made waxbean casserole, veg. kabobs, and rice. there was a feast awaiting us when we arrived - soup with potatoes, squash, tomatoes, onions, and noodles; a casserole with chard, dill, tomatoes, and eggs; homemade bread, and delicious chocolate pies. all vegetarian!

after dinner tatiana told me they would have evening prayer at 9pm. i went to aaron, barb, & grete's and picked up my stuff to come to the guest apt. a lovely simple room has been assigned to me. twin bed with sheets striped in lt. blue, pink, and white with flowers trimming the edges. a chair. a bedstand with a lamp. a closet with hangers. what more do i need?

walked to the apartment for evening prayer. as i tried to remember how to get there, i heard the voices of people singing. resounding from an open window, pouring beauty out into the streets. then i knew where i was going. as i walked, it was a moment when i felt at peace, in union, with creation. the air around me blew my hair at just the right time to cool my neck at just the right place. dusk settled in with enough light to guide my steps. the solitude and attitude of the summer night expressed the joy of my heart. then i went to pray.