on why i am becoming a practicing member

i'll start by describing the difference between being an apprentice and being a practicing member:

apprentices: those who participate in the apprenticeship program
practicing members: those who want an in-depth experience of RPF and discernmnet of future direction

app. purpose: to grow in christian discipleship, community and service
pm purpose: to experience community at RPF and discern God's calling here or elsewhere

app. term: 9-11 mnths
pm term: 9-12 mnths

app. expectations: participation in all apprentice program activities including development of shared disciplines and some economic sharing; attendance at monthly RPF meetings and social gatherings; regular meetings with a mentor
pm expectations: participation in a RPF small grp; regular attendance at RPF monthly meeting and annual RPF retreat; participation in RPF social events including montly friday potlucks, monday seminar, and camp lake events as possible; relationship with an RPF mentor or discernment group; participation in household life as appropriate

expectation of rpf to apprentice: welcome into RPF life; apprentice program; mentors and models; opportunities for service and growth
to practicing members: welcoming members to open events; providing mentors and models; building relationships through hospitality, work days, social gatherings, etc.; providing discernment circles to seek God's direction for practicing members

so, basically the distinctions are mostly in the area of commitment. an apprentice participates as someone who is wanting to learn about community, testing whether or not it is something they would like to do in the future. they do this by forming a small community within the greater community. practicing members come interested in a fuller participation with the community and test whether reba is the community for them or if they are being called into another community.

also, i am already doing most of the practices that practicing members do and in addition, i am participating in the apprenticeship things. it's too much. i would like to spend my time involved in the ministries i have begun participating in.

i also feel that my age and place in life separates me from the other apprentices and sometimes makes me uncomfortable. this is only a minor reason, but still a reason.

last night i announced that i would be becoming a practicing member in jan.

and now i am on the phone with my sister and finding it very difficult to concentrate on what i am writing. this is such a short summary, i know. i will answer all questions.