no worries

i learned how to say "that's life" today in hindi. maybe i'll use it when i'm in india.

no worries, guys. graduation in august is back on, but not before i stressed myself out for two or three hours. nothing like a surprise to make me painfully aware of how i respond to changes in my plans.

options lead to dilemmas

just found out i should be graduating in may. i don't know whether to be happy or stressed. i feel like any little thing sets me off these days, and i don't like the person i'm being. i think a change is coming, though...

easter weekend

a few things can compare to the loveliness of a beautiful easter day. complete with a blooming cross of colorful flowers representing the risen christ, the banging of the drums and blowing of trumpets, the sermon reminding us of our finitude and need for redemption, the constant announcement that salvation has been given, the companionship of those who love honestly and sincerely, the correct enjoyment of things meant for pleasure. yesterday was beautiful.

EASTER-WINGS by George Herbert


LORD, who createdst man in wealth and store,
Though foolishly he lost the same,
Decaying more and more,
Till he became
Most poor :

With thee
O let me rise
As larks, harmoniously,
And sing this day thy victories :
Then shall the fall further the flight in me.


My tender age in sorrow did beginne :
And still with sicknesses and shame
Thou didst so punish sinne,
That I became
Most thinne.

With thee
Let me combine,
And feel this day thy victorie,
For, if I imp my wing on thine,
Affliction shall advance the flight in me.

these days there's too much going on in my head to talk about. thoughts about my expectations for india, about how to rightly understand my actions as a christian in social issues, about what it would mean for me to leave waco, what it would mean for me to stay in waco, about how my crushes are always disasters, about my faith in Christ, about how that's the one thing i can't let go of, even when i'm speaking with a hindu and finding commonality in almost everything she says...and on and on.

and in my thinking about how i would like to address social justice issues, i am becoming convinced by yoder that my place as a christian is not to act within the political structures of our society. when i lend them my time, when i put my energy into trying to change things they way they allow for me to change things, i give them a place of power in my life that they should not have. by using their methods i support their ideals. but i don't know how to move away from political activism. it's all i've known. if only i could become a part of a community that could show me how to make a difference without using the system...

saying that, yesterday i took part in a rally organized by the hispanic community in waco. click here for the article
i didn't sign a petition; i didn't write a letter to my congressman; i didn't shout out my disdain for HR 4437. the truth is, i couldn't even attend before there was a real struggle in my head about whether or not to go. was it worth skipping palm sunday for? would i be saying that i supported the ways of the political system? in the end, i decided to go. because here's the deal: i want to stand among those who are being treated injustly. i wanted to be with people that i would not necessarily see at my church. even if i wasn't being active, even if i was simply walking in silence, i wanted to show my support for them, not the system. and as i listened to the voices of men, women, and children shout "el pueblo unido jamas sera vencido," as i watched mothers enduring the walk while having to carrying their babies, as i stood beside elderly men and women who walked despite the arthritic pain of growing old, i felt i had made the right choice. i don't know that i will ever understand the full plight of people who are denied the rights of basic human dignity, but i do know that standing there, among my people, i felt i was a part of their struggle.

turning 29

i have to say, i wasn't excited about the passing of this year. 29 feels like a lame age to me. i don't know how, exactly, to describe why i don't like it. it's not because it's closer to 30. i'd almost just rather be 30. i just feel like it's an insignificant age. what happens when you're 29? at least when you turn 30 there's the marking of a decade. 29. blah.

but...i had a great birthday weekend. i spent the majority of my time with my family. my mom spoiled me with great vegetarian meals, and we spent the days talking and resting. i took off work sunday so i was able to go to church with the family and see a lot of friends that i hadn't seen in a long time.

i drove into town around 6 on sunday evening and got ready for dinner with friends. i was reminded that i have the best friends anyone could possibly have. quang had a marvelous meal for us - pot stickers, spring rolls, zuchinni soup, salmon stir-fry, cous-cous, and a cucumber, carrot, apple, etc. salad. scott gave me a beautiful flower arrangement with orange lillies and other flowers that i wish i knew the names of. i received some birthday mixes, a massage at a spa with my friend christy, and courtney donated a flock of chicks to a family in my name. we sat around and laughed and ate and drank. in the dark, because the electricity went out at the restaurant. it was so hot, but interesting. a nice, intimate dinner with nine of my closest friends. it was the best way to end a perfect weekend.

oh. and before i go. this is atticus, the gloers' puppy that i love so much. doesn't he remind you of maxwell before he turned gray?