2 days

the other day i had lunch with a friend from church. i don't really know her that well, but we've been working together planning a possible church trip to visit our sister church in mexico. our meal was meant to allow us to get to know one another better. she asked me about my expectations about india - the second time, i think, that someone has asked me this question. for some reason, this time, i was very sincere. i surprised myself as i allowed myself to hope for big things. i think it was because she asked me not only about my expectations, but also about my fears. so, i was able to qualify my expectations by explaining that all this time i've been keeping myself from having high expectations because i'm afraid it will lead to disappointment. but, the truth is, i want my journey to india to challenge and solidify what i've been thinking about the church and about my faith. in my head, it's going to be this great motorcycle diary experience. and if that doesn't happen, i don't know. i think it'll be alright, but i may be sad when i return.

after i talked for almost half an hour about all this and more, she began to talk. as she did, i noticed the tears forming at the bottom of her eyes and i was struck by her sincerity and vulnerablity. she encouraged me by affirming my thoughts and sharing her own experiences. she spoke briefly about her time as a recently married woman traveling to other countries and the effect it had on both her and her husband. for her part, there was not much time. we had been sitting in the restaurant a long time. but in those few minutes i felt i understood completely what she wanted to say. i was embarrased by the amount of time i took up explaining myself.

after this meeting, i had a meeting with a professor who i have recently been introduced to. i sat and listened to him speak, and when he asked me a question, i found myself wanting to be as brief as possible. i think i talk too much. i wasn't always this way. i didn't always believe my opinion needed to be heard. i didn't always think it was necessary to announce my opposing views to someone when they said something i couldn't agree with. i don't know when the switch happened. it was probably gradual, but i want to move a little more back toward the side of silence. i have a friend who rarely speaks. he gets teased about it alot, and i used to think it was really strange to not want to talk, but now i'm wondering if he's been right all along.

so, i leave sunday. i don't know how much i'll blog while i'm away, but maybe i'll make some time. if not, i will for sure when i return. i took a picture of me waving goodbye to post - and also you can see my new haircut.



i'll email when i'm around a computer. give chorizo plenty of love. have your own fun adventures to tell me about when i get back.
ask mom and dad if they can see the piercing in this picture. crazy - did i mention that my parents said absolutely nothing about my piercing until i mentioned it? my dad hadn't noticed and my mom refused to acknowledge it.




and...here's the lyrics to the dolly parton song from transamerica - "traveling thru." my friend and i included it in a cd we made for our travels to india. i think it's a great song.

Well I can't tell you where I'm going, I'm not sure of where I've been But I know I must keep travelin' till my road comes to an end I'm out here on my journey, trying to make the most of it I'm a puzzle, I must figure out where all my pieces fit

Like a poor wayfaring stranger that they speak about in song I'm just a weary pilgrim trying to find what feels like home Where that is no one can tell me, am I doomed to ever roam I'm just travelin', travelin', travelin', I'm just travelin' on

Questions I have many, answers but a few But we're here to learn, the spirit burns, to know the greater truth We've all been crucified and they nailed Jesus to the tree And when I'm born again, you're gonna see a change in me

God made me for a reason and nothing is in vain Redemption comes in many shapes with many kinds of pain Oh sweet Jesus if you're listening, keep me ever close to you As I'm stumblin', tumblin', wonderin', as I'm travelin' thru

I'm just travelin', travelin', travelin', I'm just travelin' thru I'm just travelin', travelin', travelin', I'm just travelin' thru

Oh sometimes the road is rugged, and it's hard to travel on But holdin' to each other, we don't have to walk alone When everything is broken, we can mend it if we try We can make a world of difference, if we want to we can fly

Goodbye little children, goodnight you handsome men Farewell to all you ladies and to all who knew me when And I hope I'll see you down the road, you meant more than I knew As I was travelin', travelin', travelin', travelin', travelin' thru I'm just travelin', travelin', travelin', I'm just travelin'

Drifting like a floating boat and roaming like the wind Oh give me some direction lord, let me lean on you As I'm travelin', travelin', travelin', thru I'm just travelin', travelin', travelin', I'm just travelin' thru I'm just travelin', travelin', travelin', I'm just travelin' thru Like the poor wayfaring stranger that they speak about in song I'm just a weary pilgrim trying to find my own way home Oh sweet Jesus if you're out there, keep me ever close to you As I'm travelin', travelin', travelin', as I'm travelin' thru

try try again

done and done. finals are over. i started reading my assigned novel for india class. it's like jane austen meets bengal, except this author's a man. it's taken some time to get into, but now i like it. it's called gora.

at the grocery store i saw a curious boy gag after picking up a piece of strong romano cheese and smelling it. the image is still in my head.

a couple making out as they ordered their caramel frappucinnos and white chocolate mocha - image still in head.

don't know what causes those kind of things to remain, but visions stay with me for a long time.

this is nothing. i felt like i should write something, but i've written nothing. the first things that came into my head.

yesterday i got a massage. that was really nice.

i'm out.

relax, don't do it

eh. i don't really know what that frankie goes to hollywood song is all about, but it was the first thing that came into my head when i went to write a title. lately i've been putting lyrics into my conversations. example: to my friend who said a bug was on her boob i say, "did you get some attack-with-love-pure- bug-beauty-make-out action?" to the boy who sits next to me in hinduism class, chewing bubble gum i say, "you smell like strawberry fields forever." etc. glad i can be normal.

FINALS ARE OVER. i will probably never take one again in my life. it hasn't settled in. my head still thinks it belongs to a student because i still have a lot to do as a student. a couple of books to read, some presentations to get together. life in india will be grand. don't forget i leave on the 21st.

now i'm going to make some calls to mexico. oh! it's cinco de mayo. does your oldies station have a mariachi band playing live in the studio? cause ours does. it's a wonderful thing. one call to mexico, one to portland, and another to virginia. it's time to be serious about life after august.

have some fun today. i know i will.

why am i so boring lately?

good news - i just finished a final. only one more to go. i was fortunate enough to have two take home finals. one of them was due early (today) and even though it wasn't fun to write it after a couple of weeks of finishing books and writing papers, it feels worth it now to have nothing due until friday.

i have a six hour silent retreat left to do, which i will probably do tomorrow. then i get to write an imaginary letter to an imaginery hindu friend for my final in religion & worldviews. then i start preparing more seriously for the trip to india. twenty days. unreal.