weekend update

i have so much reading to do for tomorrow. i have no idea where the time went. i'm only taking two classes, and i'm still doing things last minute. i played way too much this weekend.

my sister devina was in town. on fri. night we went to a birthday party. her perception was that a lot of my friends were "tanked." i don't know...i didn't feel like they were, but who's to argue with a perception? saturday morning we drove to san antonio for my cousin's baby shower. it was raining the whole way down, and i nearly wrecked on sI-35. i came as close the red suv in front me as i could possibly get without hitting it. the vision that came to my head? the brady bunch episode where marsha beats greg and proves she's the better driver because she got closer to the cone with the egg on it without breaking it. greg broke the egg. i didn't. i am marsha brady. see the logic there?

we drove back home after the shower. rushed to find something red to wear and went to a chinese new year party at the clay pot, where the premiere meal was the hot dog - since it's the year of the dog. now if there was a party were people were tanked - this was it. there had to have been at least 30 bottles of wine sitting out for people to sample. i met some interesting people, but i always wonder if they'd be just as interesting sober.

yesterday i did read some, but not enough. i felt like i had a productive day, though, because i worked from 9-4 and still managed to mail out my first round of support letters for the trip to india, make sesame green beans for our life group meal, and prepare to present my life story for the meeting. so, see, reading the 30 pages that i did read doesn't sound too bad.

post #40

i've thought about posting the words to the wilco song that my blog gets its name from before, but i've never done it. i think that today (since i'm very tired and don't know what else to talk about) i'll do it. so here you go, ashes of american flags by wilco:

the cash machine is blue and green
for a hundred in twenties and a small service fee
i could spend three dollars and sixty-three cents
on diet coca-cola and unlit cigarettes

i wonder why we listen to poets
when nobody gives a
how hot and sorrowful this machine begs for luck

all my lies are always wishes

i know i would die if i could come back new

i want a good life with a nose for things
a fresh wind and bright sky to enjoy my suffering
a hole without a key
if i break my tongue
speaking of tomorrow how will it ever come

all my lies are always wishes

i know i would die if i could come back new

i'm down on my hands and knees every time the doorbell rings
i shake like a toothache when i hear myself sing

all my lies are always wishes

i know i would die if i could come back new

i would like to salute the ashes of the american flags
and all the falling leaves filling up shopping bags

no you're not hard-core, unless you live hard-core

last night was not my shining night as a b&n barista. i sucked it up. i'm pretty sure i annoyed one of the boys working with me. the other guy was kind.

the never-ending line forced me to quickly learn how to multi-task. i started off just working the register, then went to making drinks. by the end of the night i was doing register and making drinks. i swept, mopped, cleaned out the trashcans, and threw out the mop water. as the new person i got the jobs my co-worker didn't want to do, but that's expected. the worst part was that i kept misunderstanding him. he told me to clean the inside of the trash bins and i took out the linings, threw out the trash, and cleaned out the insides of the trash cans. except he meant for me to clean out the inside of the door and the sides of the closet that the trash can was in. i was doing that kind of stuff all night. i told him i was amelia bedilia, but he wasn't hip enough to catch the reference. while i was taking out the trash, i overheard a lady and her husband (i assume) talking about chemistry. here's the conversation:

woman: so what do they mean by that? why is it like that?
man: let me read it again. "the negative charge of the electrons..." i don't know. i wish i could tell you the answer, but i can't.
me: are you studying chemistry?
woman: i guess that's what you would call it. we're not doing a very good job.
me: aw! i used to teach chemistry.
woman: really? well, come here. can you explain what this means?

then i went into a mini-lecture on polar molecules and the strength of bonds. she must've just started this course. it was intro material. nevertheless, i still felt compensated in some way. as if my ability to answer this chemistry question made up for the fact that i kept misinterpreting directions and continually asking how to make drinks. other than that, the only other brief moment of pride i experienced was at the end of the night when the guy working with me called me hard-core for throwing out the mop water on my own (most girls make him do it, he said).

my first job was a science lab assitant in college. after that i started teaching. then i was an educational specialist for lighted schools. now i work as a college advisor. i am not used to mopping floors and washing dishes, but it's been really good for me to experience this type of job. it definitely makes me wish i was nicer to my sister when she came home tired from waitressing.

spoken language and measured time

i started my second job already. i am now an official employee of barnes and noble - the cafe. this means that part of my week has been taken over by a whole new language. tall, grande, venti? frap? non fat? two shots? this is my first job ever in customer service. i had to think about greeting the customer, asking if i could take their order. i tried to avoid saying, "can i help you?" it sounded stupid, but inevitably i found myself saying it without even thinking about it.

mistakes i've made so far? dropping a bagel, putting a goey cinnamon role in a bag (it should go in a plastic take-out container), serving decaf instead of the good stuff, forgetting to clean the espresso machine after pulling a shot, selling chips that were out of date, forgetting to ask if the customer had a membership card (if you ring them up and forget a manager has to come put in a code)...there's a lot to think about. still, the job's not as difficult as i thought it was going to be. and so far, i haven't had any rude customers.

i've been at waco high this week making presentations in the classrooms. i've been reminded of how rude an audience can be. well, to be fair, there was really only one class where i stopped early. i think i said something about being able to tell they weren't interested, so i'd leave and go to the next class. they couldn't have cared less.

i''ve also been reminded, though, of how much i miss teaching. i find myself torn between deciding whether i should try and find work in a church after i graduate, which is what i really want to do most of the time, or go back to teaching, which is something i know i like to do. i think i feel that if i choose teaching i will be restricted to texas, since that's the state i'm certified in. i don't want to be restricted. in my ideal plan, i will be able to go wherever i want after graduation. i suppose i'm too realisted to believe that restrictions won't exist. perhaps that's why i'm still clinging to the whole teaching bit.

visit the cafe tonight. i'm working until close.

nothing snazzy

on tuesday i looked in the refrigerator and realized the only real thing i had to work with for lunch was an onion and some spinach we still had from the hunger farm. we haven't gotten vegetables from the hunger farm since before chirstmas break. though i had a nice meal of sauteed onions and spinach with linguine, i realized i had to go to the grocery store. for some reason, i don't really like to go to the grocery store for serious shopping by myself. when i lived on my own it was no big deal, but recently i've discovered that i will avoid the event at all costs. i'll go to the store for a few, quick things, but not full-out grocery shopping. heb is so crowded. people are rude. i never know what i want to buy. i guess it helps to endure those things if i have company. anyway, all this to say that during my outing i noticed a lot of couples shopping, and maybe it was because i was already thinking that it's a lot more fun to shop with someone else. but not all of them were happy. i saw like three or four couples where the wife was so rude to the husband. putting him down, bossying him around, complaining that he had gotten the wrong thing, griping about what kind of salad dressing he liked. i don't know if it's because women consider the grocery store to be their territory, where they know better, but geez, louise, be nice a little. when did it become acceptable for women to put down men like that? if a man had yelled at a woman, put down his wife, and bossed her around in a public place, i think people would've been talking. but all these women acted like it was completely normal for them to treat their husbands this way. so, for the record, i just want to say that it is not. it's not right to treat anyone that way. at the grocery store i was a coward. i didn't say anything or do anything (other than give an evil eye). but here on my blog, suddenly, i guess i wanted to say something.

my grocery shopping has been very beneficial, though. i haven't been out to eat all week. i've even started making my own coffee in the morning so that i wouldn't waste money on starbucks. someone even called me thrifty today as i ate my home-made lunch. or maybe it was me who told them i was thrifty. now i can't remember. dang it.

and in other news...my trip to india is coming up. we were told the trip would cost $4200. yikes. that's a lot of money. so i got another part time job. if any of you visit the b&n coffee shop next week, i may be working. i've started work on other things to get prepared for the trip. right now, it's consuming a lot of my thoughts, but i don't know how long that'll last.

tonight's courtney's birthday party. i'm going to leave work early to get some things ready for it. i made this cool disco ball that we saw in a magazine made out of a paper latern and cds. i should post a picture of it. i'll try to remember to take pictures tonight.

i would like to be you just for a few habit forming years

i survived the i-term with enough desire to continue. it could've been disastrous. i could've finished the course tired, not wanting to begin my classes this semster, but it's not that bad. i'm in a frame of mind to start class. i'm determined to end my year at truett strong.

i woke up early this morning, got dressed for work, came to the computer lab to look up the books i need for class...it's my last full semester at truett. sometimes i get so excited i have to remind myself not to be too anxious. other times (like when friends ask me if i'll be moving or staying) it makes me really sad. i try not to let myself think about it too much - the future. for now, i'd rather enjoy my moments in waco, not giving thought to the fact that there's a chance i'll be moving away. it's difficult to not think about it, though. i just keep telling myself it's way too early to start. after all, i still have the trip to india before my august graduation. i wish i could be more of the kind of person who lives for the moment. though i have to say, i'm much better now than i used to be. thank god for change.

more pictures

sonja, landon, me

jeff - who has no idea what amy is doing in the background

me, ashley, courtney, and amy - how sweet are we?

myles, me (i was actually surprised by how short i am. still, after all these years.)

quang and jay

jeff, ashley, and christy

new year's eve party photos

this year, my roommates and i hosted a pajama new year's eve party. even though i was writing a paper most of the day, i had almost forgotten all about all the things i had to do before the third. at midnight i found myself surrounded by people i loved. it was the best new year's party i've ever been to.

i'm actually starting another paper today, but i wanted to post these pictures from the party - i guess i wanted to take pictures with everyone that night. we moved everything out of the dining room and made it look like a bed. we hung stars and lights on the ceiling, lit candles everywhere else, and served breakfast food. the only thing missing was my family.

me and christy

me and jeff (i look so tired - remember i was paper-writing all day)

here i am again, with amy

zach and amy - recently engaged

landon (who was wearing a robe earlier) and amy - caught by surprise

i'll post more pictures later.